How Easy Is It To Forgive Yourself?
How easy or difficult is it to forgive? Whether it is forgiving ourselves or someone who has hurt us, we must choose to forgive.
We may have said something that we wished we could take back. Or we did something that left us remorseful – but we feel it is too late. We know the damage is done and we feel guilty, and do not know how to forgive ourselves.
There are times when we say something out of anger and quickly realize that it was unkind and we feel ashamed. Even though we ask the offended party to forgive us, we may still carry the guilt of it against ourselves.
It is as vital to forgive ourselves when we blunder as it is to forgive those who offended us.
When we make a concerted effort to forgive others, it does not mean we are weak or tolerate the behavior of the one who hurt us. It does mean that we are eager to move forward understanding we cannot change what happened.
We need to treat ourselves in the same manner and not retain regret for our mistakes.
What Does It Mean To Forgive Ourselves?
It also means we must let go of the emotions that are associated with that wrongdoing, such as anger. Each of us knows someone who has carried an offense and refuses to let go. This scenario is common in divorce. One person moves forward and the other lives in despondency and defeat.
In each chapter of my memoir, Battered Hope, there is an account of being beaten, broken, bruised, or battered. Yet, each one is a story of victory. As people read the book, they often share their irritation with me because they do not understand how I could have so easily forgiven those who hurt me.
Each time, it had to be a matter of choosing to forgive them. Was it easy? Of course not. But how would it benefit anyone to hold onto that pain, that regret, or that mistake?
If we believe that God has orchestrated our lives, then we can move from victim mode to victor mode. We recognize that all things will work out for our good even if it takes time.
Be Anxious For Nothing...
If we hold on to the bitterness, it will fester and grow. Even worse, it robs us of potential joy in our lives. This does not mean that you deny what happened and it may also be extremely difficult to forget what happened. It was part of our lives.
There is no denying that. But we must choose to let go of the negative emotions surrounding those times. If not, they will eventually destroy us in some way.
We need to exchange those negative thoughts for what God tells us in His Word. We concentrate on who we are because of what Jesus did for us – not on what someone did to us. Does it sound too easy?
When you decide to not allow those destructive thoughts to control you, then you are on your way to victory over any situation, no matter how awful. I have lived it – I know how impossible that sounds. But you can become a conqueror over past wounds.
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God” Philippians 4:6.
When we are struggling with forgiveness, we can turn our prayer into one of thanksgiving by thanking God that He brought us through that situation and that He understands and will give us peace beyond our understanding.
In Philippians 4:8 it tells us how to replace those thoughts with positive ones. “…whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things.”
God Helps Us To Forgive
Our prayer turns from one where we beg God to help us to forgive and to give us the strength to get through, to one of thanking God that He has promised us strength, restoration, and renewal.
This is how we turn our petitions into prayers of thanksgiving. Vengeance is not ours. We need to stop dwelling on it and praise God for his promises to us.
Therein lies the secret – the secret to victory, success, and joy. The Bible says that God wants our joy to be full. How can our joy be full when we are concentrating on the pain? When we focus on the promises of joy, we will see them manifest.
There are no surprises in God’s eyes. He knows what you need before you even ask – what better reason could anyone have than to praise Him for that fact alone?
We apply the same principle when we forgive ourselves. Our prayer is one of thanksgiving that He has forgiven us so we can forgive ourselves. When Christ died on the cross, He took our shame, our guilt, our remorse, and our sin. Praise Him for that and see how it brings healing to your soul.See Yourself As How God Sees You
When we see ourselves as God sees us, we can forgive much easier. God sees us righteous before Him – not beaten down or sinful. He has given us the tools we need in His Word – it is up to us to use them.
One observation I have noticed over many years is that people who believe God is punishing them for something they did are the same people who have trouble forgiving others.
The lie the enemy wants you to believe is that God never forgets your sins and you will never be able to do enough to appease Him. We know where this propaganda comes from – and it is certainly not from God or His Word.
This leads to depression, anger, and other destructive behaviors. Sound familiar? This is the vicious cycle of defeat, and it is NOT from God. Praise God that He has given us freedom from guilt and condemnation as the eighth chapter of Romans points out.
God brings you from defeat to victory and the easiest way to accomplish that is to find the scripture/s that promises you that. Meditate on them and when the enemy tries to attack your mind with lies, destroy him with the Word of God.
God’s heart towards you is not in condemnation but in forgiveness which turns your entire life around for His glory.
When you punish yourself with unforgiveness and guilt, you disqualify yourself from receiving everything God wants for you. Jesus sent His Son to take that shame, guilt, and sin on your behalf. Begin to rejoice in those scriptures that promise you that.
Start to see your Savior qualifying you to receive every blessing from God in every area of your life, your marriage, family, and career. When you remind yourself that you are forgiven and righteous because of what Christ did for you, you will start living the life God desires for you.