Don't Think, "If Only..." And Move Forward

How many 'if only' moments do we get? If only I had not said that. If only I had not gone there. If only I had made a better choice. If only I had called them. If only I had made the effort to see them one last time. If only.......

Once we have said it..... it is spoken.

Once we have done it.....it is done.

Can we take back the words, and undo the deed? No.

How much pain have we endured because of choices we have made? I lived a good portion of my life in IF ONLY moments. At the time, I did not see options and made choices that turned out to be devastating.

Often, we are in a situation where we do not see any choice except for the obvious one. When we make that choice and realize it was the wrong one, what do we do?

Choices We Make Each Day

We make choices every single day of our lives. Some choices seem insignificant, and we don't think about them; some can change our lives in a moment. If only we had a magic wand to change those moments.

I chose to marry the wrong person (the first time around). I was warned. I didn't listen.

I chose to go into business with the wrong people and they stole my business.

I chose to trust people I should not have trusted and was arrested.

I chose to walk home that day and was kidnapped, raped and left for dead.

I chose to adopt two children and lost them both -- does the joy of having them for a little while make up for the pain of losing them?

I chose to try and kill myself because I thought I could not endure the pain any longer.

I am a victor, more than just a survivor. I learned how to take the pain, the mistakes, and the bad choices and turn them around for good. I chose to laugh despite the pain and encourage those around me in similar circumstances. I can empathize and sympathize from a place that would not have been possible if I had not experienced the losses.

Move Forward - Don't Live In The Past

We can't change what happened to us, but we can change our attitude. We can learn from our mistakes. We can choose to forgive those who have hurt us, abused us, or robbed us, or.....we can choose to dwell on it, let it fester, and destroy our world, our relationships, and our health.

What is done, is done. Dwelling on it or worrying about it changes nothing, except makes us bitter, angry, or sad.

The flip side is we can move forward instead of living in the past. We cannot change the past, but our attitude can affect our future.

Have you made some choices that you would give almost anything to undo? Or have you come to terms with those choices and forgiven not just those who hurt you but...... also forgiven yourself?

This, too, is our choice.