Unconditional Mother's Love
When she made the appointment for aesthetic services, her name sounded vaguely familiar. I assumed I would recognize her when she arrived. I didn't, but my coworker, Rochelle, did and summoned me into the reception area with urgency.
"Do you realize who that is?" she asked staring wildly. The look was a definite indication that my client was not welcome there.
"No....why?"
"That's ROGER'S mother, Kathy!"
The pain in my chest was instant and the vice around it fell with a heavy thud into the pit of my stomach. I felt it. My hands started to quiver and I swallowed hard, not sure what to do next.
Rochelle had a tear in her eye when she asked, "Do you want me to take over for you?" I felt her sympathy but decided to face my fears. Now I understood why her name had sounded familiar.
I walked back into the treatment room and looked deep into Kathy's eyes. It was obvious that she had no idea who I was which gave me the confidence to continue.
Understanding The Situation
I made small talk, asking Kathy about her family. She had a husband whom she did not trust and one grown son who still lived at home. I maintained my calm demeanor while asking her about her son.
Does he have a job? A girlfriend? I already knew he was a drug addict and didn't need to ask but the small talk helped me to remain composed.
“He gets into trouble a lot, but he's a good boy!”
Kathy told me how her son was between jobs. Apparently, he was too smart to do menial boring tasks, but it was difficult to find work of any substance when he didn't finish high school. Bosses didn't appreciate him or pay him enough, so he usually quit after a few weeks. But he is a GOOD boy.
Therapist-Client Relationship
She made another appointment and gave me a hug telling me how much she enjoyed talking with me. After she left and I relaxed my guard, I saw that my hands were shaking, and I felt sick to my stomach.
When Kathy returned the following week, I welcomed her graciously and we chatted more. I always showed interest in her son and she loved talking about him. "Sure, he gets in trouble sometimes but what 27-year-old kid doesn't?" I bit my tongue - often.
Our therapist-client relationship continued for close to four years. During those years, I did not know if Kathy figured out who I was, but she often came bearing gifts of appreciation for taking the time to listen to her woes. She once asked that I follow her husband and take pictures as proof he was seeing someone else. I drew the line there.
When Kathy stopped coming in for treatments, she would call to ask for advice - usually regarding her husband and how to protect herself. She knew he was heavily into drugs and women, but she stayed.
I NEVER Expected What Happened Next
Several months passed and then the phone call, "Hi, Carol?" Her voice was weak. "Do you mind if we stop by for a minute? I need to talk to you." We? Who were we?
I never expected what happened next....
When she walked through the door I fell back into my chair. Not only was she a 90-pound, a four-and-a-half-foot shell of a woman but her tall, muscular, tattoo-covered son was with her. I felt weak not knowing what to expect next and wanted to ask him to keep his shirt on to hide the hideous vulgar tattoos.
He introduced himself, obviously not knowing who I was. We shook hands and he told his mother he would pick her up in 30 minutes. Those simple words were like venom, and I felt a desire to destroy the predator.
Years earlier, in a crack-cocaine-induced state, Roger was the arsonist who burned down our shop/warehouse/storage unit. It was a temporary facility until we could find a bigger unit. My husband's father had recently died, and we inherited his beautiful boat we needed to store.
God Is Our Only Hope
Also in the shop were three classic cars and my husband's recording studio system along with numerous totes holding everything from childhood memories to tools and household items. We had just purchased two large compressors for shop air tools that had not yet been used. When the flames hit them, the explosion could be heard for at least a mile.
My husband told me not to bother getting insurance as we would only be there a month or so, but like any good wife, I followed my instincts and didn't listen. The most insurance I could get was $50,000 because it was not a residence. After the fire, our loss for just the contents was over $350,000. But the bigger heartbreak was over the loss of the precious memories in those totes including the only photos my son-in-law had of his mother who died when he was a little boy.
"What happened to you?" I wanted to tell Kathy she looked closer to death than life.
"I just came from the hospital. I tried to kill myself a couple of weeks ago." I did not need to ask her why; it was easy enough to figure out.
We chatted and I did my best to encourage her. I told her that God was her only hope and He alone could save her from the desire to end her life. I told her to call me every day and to stay in touch. She promised. She didn't.
A few months later, we relived the same scenario. This time, the doctors had a difficult time resuscitating her. She didn't care if she lived or died. She looked worse than the last time I saw her.Unconditional Mother's Love
Often, I think of the first day Roger's mom came to see me. Kathy was a vibrant busy attractive woman, but I watched her deteriorate over time. She often told me that her son got away with a lot because he had the local police in his back pocket. I do not know if she was delusional or if that is what he told her. Regardless, she was his mother, and she chose to believe him.
A few days after her son came with her to my store, she called. “I need to talk to you about what you said.” Kathy was crying and I knew she was in trouble.
“Of course, I will be right there.” I closed the store and met her at a coffee shop.
She looked deep into my eyes and sent me a distinct message. “I know who you are! I don't know how you could ever forgive me or my son. But you did.”
It offered the perfect opportunity to share Christ's love assuring her that He would forgive her and welcome her with unconditional love. I explained that God's love for her was like a mother's love for her children. God was more concerned about where she was going than where she had been.
A mother's love has often been equated with God's love for his children. He sees his children through the eyes of love – unconditionally. As a mother loves her child.
Kathy asked Jesus into her life that day. She told me that if I could show her unconditional love in the way that I did, she wanted to know the God who would love her as well.Watch this video to learn more about God's love for us: